May 13, 2008
Manchester, NH

The bond.

What have I done?

I thought it different. I thought it right and admirable. The "sporting" thing to do. It seemed so right.

I should have known better.

Now I am bound. I cannot hurt him, but I will no matter what I do. It will hurt him if I deny myself. It will hurt him if I do not.

Harvey... I never wanted to hurt you. Now the pain of it gnaws at my sanity.

My mind, already reeling from Sandra's belif that Gehenna is near, feels threatened.

I shouldn't have been able to consider this, let alone do it. Is it that my mind is divided by my nature? Is it just another role in the production of my life?

What can I do?