Leicester Court Apartments, Manchester.
Early December 2009

There's something about solitude that, if not attractive, is at least addictive. It's a strange feeling. To be left with only yourself for company. I suppose it really all depends on how much of a tosser you are. If, deep down, I thought that I was a complete tit, then I can imagine I'd hate to be alone. Without having to lie in order to convince everyone else that I'm a great bloke, I could just look at myself in all honesty and realise that, actually, it's about time I shaved off the moustache.

Or something along those lines.

I'm actually quite happy being who I am. I don't lie to myself any more. I try not to lie to anyone. It's one of the things that every mother tells her child, but neither of them are listening when it's said. The mother continues to convince herself of her offspring's unlimited potential or goodness. The child is just too busy with Super Mario and his mates. In the end, it's something about which we have to convince ourselves. Not many of us ever bother, though. That's why I think most people hate being alone so much. When the masks come off they realise that in reality most of us are pretty ugly.

That, I think, is why I got into photography. Photographs never lie. How can they? It's a fairly obvious fact, and yet people still act as if they really do. "The camera adds twenty pounds". Utter cobblers. You look fat, darling. Sorry. So maybe it's a bad angle? Well yes, it probably is. But that doesn't change the fact that, from that specific angle, that's *exactly* what you look like. Now grow up and deal with it. The camera is the ultimate teller of truth. Or at least it can be, as long as you don't doctor the photos later. Lighting tricks and the like aren't lies. They're different perspectives - unrealistic ones, but again it's still the truth. In that light, in those clothes, with all that make-up, this is what you look like. 'You' may look stunning now, but it's not the real you and you know it perfectly well. Take a look at yourself in the mirror before you go to bed.

Can you handle it?

I hope so.